WHILE WE TRY TO KEEP MOST PRODUCTS IN STOCK, THIS ITEM MAY REQUIRE UP TO 5 BUSINESS DAYS FOR ORDER PROCESSING AND AN ADDITIONAL 2 DAYS FOR FULFILLMENT. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE!
*Blank garment used may vary depending on availability due to global supply chain shortages.
I never thought buying a shirt would effect my life so much. Since this shirt has arrived in the mail I’ve had a series of beautiful moments occur. The second this semi-box cut kissed my body I could feel the energy in the world shift. I had the sudden urge to go to my closest convenience store and buy a 6 pack of Miller Highlife. BOOM. My car was stolen but I found the keys to my neighbors ‘64 Impala on the ground outside. I texted him and he was like - ya know what - keep the car. So I drove to get the 6r and on my way this absolute babe was crushing her morning power walk. I’m blaring Boys 2 Men and she looks over and just starts taking her clothes off. At first I was worried because it was out of character for my neighborhood, but it turns out she was an Olympic Skier turned supermodel who’s dad used to manage boys to men. So she hops in the car to get back at her dad for not paying enough attention to her. I keep heading to the gas station when a bald Eagle soared in through the back windows. The majestic beast calmly sat in the back as we pulled up to 7/11. I got out - lit a cigarette and the Eagle perched itself on my shoulder. We walked into 7/11 in the middle of a robbery and the Eagle fucking stopped it from happened. Used its mighty talons to confiscate the .308 Bulldog pistol. I ran over to help and put the gunman in a rear naked choke until the cops came. They gave us a medal and the clerk gave a us a free 6 pack of PBR. I walked back out to the car and the Dallas cowboys cheerleaders had started doing an impromptu car wash and I DON’T EVEN LIVE IN TEXAS. The car looked clean as hell and I got back in with the babe and cracked open a cold one and put the top down. Then as if things couldn’t get any crazy Nic Cage walked over and asked for a ride to Comicon. “I’m not going to Comicon Nic, but I got 4 more ice cold PBRs if you want one you crazy son of bitch” (big fan of Nic’s work in National Treasure and his more recent horror film Mandy). The dude obliged. I threw on some Tom Petty and drove back nowhere with the sun beaming down and the bald Eagle, Bruce I call him now, following my tailwinds. Anyways - shirt fits great. Sizing was spot on.
